Things Kids Teach Us About Life

Photo Credit: USDA

Most of you who have been following my blog over the years, know that I am a Physical Education/Health teacher and a coach and have loved my job throughout the past 31 years. The one constant during those years have been the joy and excitement that I receive from my students. Their passion, zeal, and enthusiasm about life is contagious. This kind of positive atmosphere usually always uplifts my spirits, enlightens my soul, makes me smile. Every day of school is a new never know what is going to happen…what will be said or what will be done by these young people. Usually, the younger they are, the funnier things happen.

So, it should be no surprise, that one of the things that I enjoy posting from time-to-time are some of the silly, hilarious, and downright goofy things that kids do…and sometimes teach us. Such is the case with today’s article. The following is a collection of some of these kinds of things. I hope that these bring a smile to your face and a chuckle to your heart. Hey! You may even learn some things about ceiling fans today as well 🙂

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence. …

Super glue is forever. …

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

DVD players do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. …

You probably do not want to know what that odor is. …

Always look in the oven before you turn it on.

Plastic toys do not like ovens.

The fire department in Orlando, FL has an 8 minute response time.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. …

A 3 year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. …

When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s already too late. …

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. …

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape….

It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room. …

You should not throw baseballs up in the air when the ceiling fan is on. …

When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

Have an AWESOME Day!

Aspire to Inspire.


The 89 Year Old Thief

89 Year Old Thief

A Giggle for the Day: STRESS!

Photo Credit:

Everyone needs a little giggle every once in a while…especially under stressful situations. Some situations can cause a great deal of stress while people…who read about that situation can do nothing more than giggle when they read about the poor soul’s situation.

Such is the case of today’s “Giggle of the Day.”

You pick up a hitchhiker… A beautiful girl.
Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and
you take her to the hospital.
Now that’s stressful.

But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and
congratulate you that you’re going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.
This is getting very stressful!

You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.

After the tests are completed,
The doctor says the test shows you’re infertile,
And probably have been since birth.
You’re extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way back home, you think about your 5 kids at home.

A Sad Tale: No One Believes Seniors Anymore


Elderly in Brighton
Photo Credit: Gary Knight via CC FLickr: Going for a walk down East Street.

An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally.

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money – fifty thousand dollars!

Jerry said, “We’ve got to give it back.”

Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”

Sally said, “No.”

Jerry said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”

Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.

One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

Jerry said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday …….”

The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!”


I hope this funny little story brought a smile to your face and a giggle to your soul. Now go out and share a smile with someone today!!


Children and Their Pets

Photo Credit:

There is nothing more precious and heartwarming than seeing pictures of little children with their pets There is a special relationship between humans and their pets…even more so with kids. So, without further ado, I will post some pictures of these touching relationships thst will certainly bring a song to your soul and a smile to your face.


Photo Credit:
Elly Prestegaard
Photo Credit: Elly Prestegaard
Julieanneimages via Flickr
Photo Credit:
South Orange Humane Society Flickr
Photo Credit: South Orange Humane Society
Photo Credit: Tumblir
Volodymyr Rozhko
Photo Credit: Volodymyr-Rozhko
Tumblir 2
Photo Credit: Tumblir
Tumblir 3
Photo Credit: Tumblir
Photo Credit: YouTube
Photo Credit: Ascabras


I hope you enjoyed these awesome images. 

I will post more pictures in a future post…if there is enough interest to do so!

Have an awesome day!


A Tale From A Deathbed

jon dawson
Photo Credit: Jon Dawson via CC Flickr

Every once in a while, I come across a story that touches my heart, brings a smile to my face and a giggle to my soul. Such is the case with today’s story. 

Doug Smithberger is on his deathbed at Allegheny General Hospital and knows the end is near.


His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons are with him.


He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:


My son, “Bernie, I want you to take all the West End houses.””

My daughter “Sybil, you take the apartments over in the Bottoms and up toward Neville Island.””


My son, “Jamie, I want you to take the offices and apartments over in Neville Island and Coraopilis.”


“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river between McKees Rocks and Coraopolis and up the valley toward the airport.”


The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says,

“Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property”.


Sarah replies, “Property ? …. the jerk had a paper route!”

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! I hope this brought a smile to your face and made your day a little brighter! Love life and smile often.

“Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks!”

Photo Credit: Canned Muffins via CC Flickr
Photo Credit: Canned Muffins via CC Flickr

Many people today have created a Bucket List. A Bucket List is a register of things that a person would like to do before the die. The list can be anything…ranging from something simple to a desire to accomplish that might be almost impossible to complete.

Such is the case of Ed, husband of his lifelong sweetheart, his wife, Norma….

Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year, and every year Ed would say, ” Norma, I’d like to ride in that helicopter “

Norma always replied, “I know Ed , but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
and fifty bucks is fifty bucks! ”

One year Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said, “Norma, I’m 75 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance”

To this, Norma replied, “Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks”

The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny! But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars.”

Ed and Norma agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

But still not a word…

When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed! ”

Ed replied, “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Norma fell out, but you know…fifty bucks is fifty bucks! ”


Hope this comical story made you giggle!! Have a great day!!!

How to Wash A Cat

Photo Credit: Laurence Simon via CC Flickr
Photo Credit: Laurence Simon via CC Flickr

Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl…

  1. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry it towards the bathroom.
  2. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
  3. At this point, the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!
  4. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “Power-Wash” and “Rinse”.
  5. Have someone open the front door of your home. For the safety of everyone around, be sure that these are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
  6. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift the lid.
  7. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
  8. Good news!! Both the cat and the toilet will be sparkling clean!!

Yours Sincerely,

The Dog


I hope these directions brought a little smile to your face, a giggle to your heart, and laughter to your soul!!!

Grandpa Gets Audited

Photo Credit: GotCredit via CC Flickr
Photo Credit: GotCredit via CC Flickr

Everybody needs a giggle or a chuckle at least once a day…today is no different. I hope that the following little story brings a smile to your face and a little joy to your heart.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.

The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’

I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’

Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’

The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops.

Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.’

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.

Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he
agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,
so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.

But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.

‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he
could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about

I keep telling you! Don’t Mess with Old People!!

Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road?

Photo Credit: Becky via CC Flickr
Photo Credit: Becky via CC Flickr

Have you ever REALLY wondered why the Chicken crossed the road?  Well the following answers are from famous people around the world. You will be enjoy reading there answers. Read them to find out what they are!



We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq’s former ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don’t even have a chicken.

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

The chicken’s habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer’s market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. That’s what they call it — the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I’ve not been told!

To die. In the rain. Alone.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

It was an historical inevitability.

I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

What chicken?

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but also will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook – and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

I missed one?

– Author Unknown


Live, Laugh. Love.

The Bathtub Test

Photo Credit: Dan Taylor via CC Flickr
Photo Credit: Dan Taylor via CC Flickr

Did you ever know that there is actually a test that can be given to you in a bathtub to see how sane you are?

During a recent visit to a mental asylum, I asked the director, “How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?”

“Well”, said the director, “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a tea cup and a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I see, so a normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or tea cup” I replied.

“No”, said the director, “a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

Hope you enjoyed the smile and the laugh. Spread the joy with others today!!

Confessions of A Cab Driver

Photo Credit: Marta Diarra via CC Flickr
Photo Credit: Marta Diarra via CC Flickr

One night, a Cabbie picked up a nun. As they were riding, the cabbie confessed, “Sister, I have to get something off my chest.”

“What is that, my son.”

“Well, I’ve always had an urge to kiss a nun and I was wondering if you could be so kind.” “Well, my son, I think that can be arranged.”

The cabbie pulled over and the nun leaned over the seat and gave the cabbie the deepest, longest, wet kiss he could ever hope for.

The nun sat back. The cabbie said, “Thank you sister, I will carry that bliss to my death…by the way, my name is Frank and I feel terribly guilty now because I’m Catholic.”

The nun says, “Well, Frank, that’s ok, my name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”

I hope you enjoyed the giggle. Have a great day and take the time to make someone else smile today!!

An Email From The Great Beyond

Photo Credit: Sean MacEntee via CC FLickr
Photo Credit: Sean MacEntee via CC FLickr

As we all know, everyone makes mistakes…that are part of life and one of the ways that we grow as individuals. Well, today’s story should teach us all something else important…a lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!!


A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to co-ordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, Texas, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral.  He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read “To: My Loving Wife Subject: I’ve Arrived Date: June 28, 2014 I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in.  I’ve seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.  Looking forward to seeing you  then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.    

  1. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!”  

I Think You Need A Giggle

Photo Credit: Donnie Ray Jones
Photo Credit: Donnie Ray Jones

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right? Everything you do seems to be wrong and you are basically miserable? Well then, I have good news for you…today isn’t it because I collected some silly things that just might make you smile…or even…giggle.

Imagine you had to have surgery and you were put to sleep. Sometime during the surgery, you fade into consciousness. The following, is a list of things that you (or I) probably would never want to hear being said by your surgeon… 

Better save that.  We’ll need it for the autopsy.

Someone call the janitor – we’re going to need a mop.

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?

Hand me that . . . uh . . . that uh . . . thingie.

Oops!  Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?

Rats, there goes the lights again . . .

Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys.  Heck, the guy’s got two of ’em.

Max! MAX! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

Oh, no! Anybody seen my Rolex?

I hate it when there’s stuff missing.


Let me ask your opinion, nurse…

I thought we started with four clamps?

Has anyone ever seen one of these?

What do you mean, it’s upside down?

Oh, man! I think I’m gonna be sick.

Is that supposed to be yellow?

I learned that when I studied to be a vet.

Not bad for someone who failed med school.

What does the AMA know? I still think I can do it.

Does Tab A go into Slot C or Slot F?

They never let us practice on real people in med school.

That proves aliens have taken over our bodies.

Don’t worry, he’ll never know. He’s out!

Okay, make a wish and pull.

Back in a minute. Gotta put more money in the meter.

What he doesn’t know won’t hurt us.

Uh, ya want fries with that?

Who ordered the pepperoni?

Tilt that TV this way. I can’t see the game.

The voices in my head keep telling me not to do this.


I hope these brought a smile to your face and a giggle to your soul. Have a great day!!!