Navigating the Seas of Grief and Despair

Jeremy Segrott

Photo Credit: Jeremy Segrott via CC Flickr

The death of a close friend, a dear sibling or spouse, or a loving relative can lead a person to great depths of grief, despair and hurt. There are times when the death seems like a blessing because the person was suffering from an illness or some other misfortune, and they are now free from their suffering. In some instances, the individual expires because of old age or in other occasions, the passing of an individual is sudden and shocking. Regardless, when someone a person knows passes from this life, there is usually a time of great sorrow and pain.

Over the course of this past year, I have had the unfortunate experience of knowing some family and friends of mine who either died suddenly or have been going through the dark valleys of their lives. I came across the following story a while back that was written by an older gentleman, who had written his response to someone who had asked the following question in an editorial in his newspaper: “My friend just died. I don’t know what to do.” Many people responded but there was one old man whose incredible comment stood out from the rest. What he stated might just change the way we approach life and death:

“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, parents, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

 I wish that I could say that you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever someone I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter.” I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if that scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and love. And scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

 “As for grief, you’ll find that it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with all of the wreckage around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was…and is no more. All you can do is float. You find some piece of wreckage and hang on for a while. Maybe it is a physical thing. Maybe it is a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float and stay alive.

 “In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they crash over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. If might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave keeps crashing…but in between waves…there is life.

 “Somewhere down the line, and it is different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall…or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at an airport. You can see it coming and for the most part, you prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

 “Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come…and you will survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of love…and lots of shipwrecks.”   ~ Source: Pinterest

It is my deepest hope and prayer that this commentary can help you or someone you know who may be “drowning” in a Sea of Despair or Grief. I know this…it helped me when I read it a while ago when my lifelong and best friend died, and who I miss every day…my Dad. So’s here to hope, grace, and happiness…and remembering the times with your loved one…the memories that will last a lifetime!

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Coping With Grief and the Shipwrecks of Life

Lookas PHT

Photo Credit: Lookas PHT via CC Flickr

Grief. Despair. Pain. Suffering. These are just a few words that describe the feelings and emotions that millions of people experience everyday around the world. The death of a family member or loved one, the loss of a job, a separation from a spouse, personal injury, loss of a job, the passing of a pet, sickness, cancer…the list goes on and on.

 Grief and depression can sometimes be overwhelming and lead an individual to suffer from a variety of physical problems such as fatigue, headaches, sore muscles, heart and chest pains…just to name a few. People can also experience emotional stresses such as numbness, bitterness, detachment, inability to show or feel joy, etc. Like I said, grief and depression can be downright devastating!!

 If you have experienced times like these or are currently fighting through a difficult time in your life, the following story might, very well, be just for you. It tells of a great approach that you may be able to use to help you deal with grief in a positive fashion.

 I read the following short story that I felt would be a fantastic post for my blog. It is my hope and prayer that this illustration might help you, even in a small way, to change your outlook and perspective on your life and help you heal a wounded soul and a broken heart!

————————————

Someone on Reddit wrote the following heartfelt plea online:

 “My friend just died. I don’t know what to do.”

A lot of people responded. Then there was one old man that wrote an incredible comment that stood out from the rest that might just change the way that we approach the turmoil of life, death, and other negative experiences.

“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here is my two cents.

“I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever someone I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter.” I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep…so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

“As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. All you can do is float. You find some piece of wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it is a physical thing…a happy memory, a photograph, etc. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. staying alive.

“In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing…but in between waves…there is life.

“Somewhere down the line, and it is different for everybody, you will find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging onto some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

“Take it from an old guy…the waves never stop coming and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you will survive them. And other waves will come…and you will have to survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves…and lots of shipwrecks.”

Dealing With Anxiety Can Be As Simple As 1, 2, 3!

lifeandshape,org

Photo Credit: Lifeandshape.org

There are literally millions and millions of people around this country and the world, who deal with large amounts of worry, stress, and anxiety every single day. Individuals may pay thousands and thousands of dollars on various therapies, medications, etc. While there are definitely some individuals who are authentically in need of medication, counseling,etc., many people suffer from self-induced anxiety.

So, I have good news!! I recently came across a nice and simple guideline, that people might want to use to help them deal with the tough times in their life. I found these ideas to be as helpful as 1, 2, 3!  I hope that these 10 steps will help you when you face stressful situations!

Are You Sad? Here Are Some Ways to Instantly Make You Feel Good!

Stephen Bowler

Photo Credit: Stephen Bowler via CC Flickr

It happens to the best of us. One minute your sat comfortably enjoying your time on Earth and the next you want to flip all the tables you can get your hands on. Maybe it was something someone said, perhaps it was a memory from a fight you’d had that morning: either way you’re about one irritating noise away from going on a rampage.

Never fear! We have the answers! Here are 12 tips and tricks you can use to boost your mood no matter how blue you’re feeling:

  1. Tell Somebody

If you’re feeling down, call a loved one or friend. Nothing is more precious than someone who can cheer you up no matter how bad you’re feeling, and if they are truly your friends then they’ll do their best to make everything better! They know you’d do the same for them.

  1. Get Moving

Clear your mind and refresh your thoughts by partaking in some light exercise! Walk about, dance, or run on the spot even for a few minutes and you’ll feel better in no time. Exercise releases endorphins, distracts from any worries you may be mulling over and raises your energy levels almost instantly.

We know not everyone can simply jog out of his or her office or start doing jumping jacks in a meeting, but there’s no reason you can’t do some stretching. Lift your arms and legs or stretch them out, touch your toes; hell if you’re feeling brave do some yoga positions!

  1. Go Outside

Nothing is more cleansing than fresh air and sunlight, in fact there are numerous studies that show those who adopt an outdoor lifestyle show significantly less symptoms of depression and anxiety than those who work indoors all day. Spending a few minutes in the sun will raise your vitamin D – also known as the ‘sunshine vitamin’ – levels, which are crucial for physical and mental well-being.

  1. Just Breathe

Take a minute out of your day to just relax and take some deep breaths. Partaking in just a few deep breathing sessions a day reduces stress, rids your body of 70% of toxins, aids digestion, helps you to let go of tension and increases the oxygen levels in your blood.

Simply try breathing in for five seconds, feeling your diaphragm expand and air fill your lungs, then hold that breath for another five seconds before slowly exhaling. Do this a few times and you’ll feel the control and happiness coming back to you.

  1. Leave The Negative People Behind

There’s nothing more detrimental to your attitude than being surrounded by negative people. This may be in real life, online or in your phone: either way it’s time to let go of the downers. Ridding yourself of toxic people is not selfish, it is a form of self-care that will make you happier in the short and long term.

  1. Work On A Task That Means Something To You

Whether it’s a lingering assignment you’ve yet to complete or a work of passion you haven’t had time for, now’s the time to sit and work on something important to you. By lifting the weight of a burden off of your shoulders or indulging in something you love, you’ll be filled with satisfaction and boost your mood.

  1. Eat Something Tasty

If it’s close to lunchtime or you haven’t eaten in a while, you may just be crabby because you’re hangry (that’s hungry and angry). Get a snack, let it settle for five minutes and then get on with your day. Chances are you’ll be feeling better already.

  1. Drink Some Water

Dehydration can cause low mood, headaches and fatigue so make sure you drink a lot of water throughout the day to keep your mood at it’s best!

  1. Help Someone Else

Chances are you’re not the only one feeling blue right now. Try writing a nice email, Facebook message or Tweet to someone you care about, maybe even write a general status that’ll cheer everyone who reads it up. Doing a good deed is often the quickest way to make ourselves’ smile and feel better.

10. Change Your Environment

Did you know that the colours you surround yourself with could impact on your mood? For example, blues and greens are meant to be soothing shades, whereas yellows and reds create energy. If you’re feeling sleepy or anxious, perhaps purchase some colour-coded happiness! Even better, buy a plant: they filter the air around you making the oxygen cleaner and richer, boosting productivity.

Another easy way to boost your mood is to organize your belongings. Decluttering creates space in your area and in your mind, so why not have a quick tidy up.

 11. Get Creative

Writing, drawing, listening to music, watching a funny show or reading some motivational posters are bound to make you feel better. If you’re prone to luls throughout your day, perhaps you should make a playlist that you can listen to when you notice your mood shift, or keep a pen and notepad handy for doodles and writing. If all else falls Google ‘funny cats’.

12. Take A Step Back

If you’re still not feeling your best, then it may be time to take a step back and look at your life. Write a list of three things that you are grateful for or simply take a moment to think about how things could be worse. Remember that you are in control and give yourself permission to change the things you are not satisfied with in your life, including your mood towards it.


 

Author Bio:

Siobhan Harmer is a video game, coffee and travel lover from England. Although she is the human equivalent of a sloth Siobhan sometimes writes things, most of which you can find on her blog There You Are Sibby.
Read more at http://goweloveit.info/lifestyle/feeling-down-here-are-12-ways-you-can-feel-better-instantly/#1kp5hhSJvlF1iEe4.99

A Giggle for the Day: STRESS!

galeri12uludagsozlukcom

Photo Credit: galeri12.uludagsozluk.com

Everyone needs a little giggle every once in a while…especially under stressful situations. Some situations can cause a great deal of stress while people…who read about that situation can do nothing more than giggle when they read about the poor soul’s situation.

Such is the case of today’s “Giggle of the Day.”

You pick up a hitchhiker… A beautiful girl.
Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and
you take her to the hospital.
Now that’s stressful.

But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and
congratulate you that you’re going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.
This is getting very stressful!

You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father.

After the tests are completed,
The doctor says the test shows you’re infertile,
And probably have been since birth.
You’re extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way back home, you think about your 5 kids at home.

The Importance of Self-Confidence

Robin Zebrowski

Photo Credit: Robin Zebrowski via CC Flickr

Self-confidence and a strong belief in oneself and the things that you can achieve is a strong trait that an individual can have. When a person has a good self-image, they find that they can not only accomplish their goals but they can achieve things far and above anything that they ever imagined. In other words, sometimes a person who possess a high level of self-confidence, can discover something within themselves that they might not have thought never existed.

Today’s story is a great illustration of this power of self-confidence.

One of the greatest violinists of all time was named Niccolo Paganini. He was born in 1782 and he enjoyed a well-known and memorable career before his death in 1840.

One day as Paganini was about to perform before a packed opera house, he suddenly discovered that he had walked out on stage with the wrong violin. What he was holding was not his valued instrument but one that belonged to someone else.  His cherished violin was made by the master violin maker, Guarneri.

Paganini was horrified and panic-stricken but knowing that he had no other choice, he began to play with all of the skill that he possessed. Everyone agreed, after the performance, that he had given a performance of a lifetime. When he finished his concert, the audience gave him a standing ovation.

After the concert, in his dressing room, he was praised and commended for his marvelous performance, Paganini replied, ” Today, I learned the most important lesson in my entire career. Before today, I thought the music was in my violin but today I learned that the music is in me.”

 

 

 

Why Life Is Like a Camera…

Martin Pettitt

Photo Credit: Martin Pettitt via CC Flickr

There are many times in our lives when life seems good…everything is going well, we are healthy, making money, have plenty of food to eat, we have great families and friends, and the list goes on.

But sometimes, the tables get turned and we  can become sad or bitter or discouraged. It is during these “down” times that we can remember the simple lessons of a camera. They are as follows:

FOCUS on what’s important

CAPTURE the good times

DEVELOP from the negatives

And if things don’t work out….

TAKE ANOTHER SHOT!