The Dog Food Diet

 

Photo Credit: Diaper via CC Flickr

Photo Credit: Diaper via CC Flickr

So, I’m at Wal-Mart today buying a bag of dog food for my dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT???

So on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the dog food diet again, and that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awoke in intensive care with tubes coming out of every orifice and IVs in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with dog food nuggets and simply eat a few every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to lick myself and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Now that you’ve read this, I have to confess – I copied it.

Now copy and share make someone else laugh!

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