Some Very PUN-ny Halloween Humor

Tags

, , , , , , ,

Photo Credit: Lobo 235 via CC Flickr

Photo Credit: Lobo 235 via CC Flickr

We all need some smiles, chuckles and humor each day…and Halloween is no exception! So, without further ado…here we go!

—————–

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? – No, they eat the fingers separately.

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? – A hoblin goblin.

Why don’t skeletons like parties? – They have no BODY to dance with.

What do witches put on their hair? – SCARE spray.

Why do mummies have such a hard time having friends? – They are too WRAPPED UP in themselves!

TherapyWhy don’t angry witches ride their brooms? They’re afraid of flying off the handle.

How can you tell that vampires like BASEBALL? – Because they turn into BATS every night!

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? – It didn’t have the guts.

Why are ghosts so bad at lying? – Because you can see right through them.

Why do ghosts go to bars?- For the Boos (get it? Boos – Booze).

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? – A necktarine

Who does Dracula get letters from? – His fang club.

Why is Superman’s costume so tight? – Because he is always wearing a size “S”

What did one owl say to the other owl? – Happy OWL-ween!

What kind of pants do ghosts wear? – Boo-jeans.

What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel, a Poodle and a ghost? – A cocker poodle boo.

What’s a haunted chicken? – A poultry-geist.

——————–

Hope these silly jokes brought a smile to your face and soul today. Have a happy and safe Halloween!

 

Pictures That Speak Volumes #52

Tags

, , , , , ,

Bench

A man remembers the times that he shared with his wife on this park bench…

So…You Think You Know People?

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Photo Credit: Darren Johnson via CC Flickr

Photo Credit: Darren Johnson via CC Flickr

Sometimes in life…you THINK you know what other are people are like…you think that you understand how other people feel and the struggles that they deal with. But do you REALLY know them?

Consider this:

The “gay boy” you punched in the hall today…committed suicide a few minutes ago. Remember that girl that you called a “slut” today in class? She’s a virgin. How about that boy that you called lame? He has to work every night to support his family. What about the girl that you pushed down yesterday because she was too slow and annoying? She’s being abused at home. Remember that girl that you called fat? She is slowly killing herself by starving herself. How about that old man that you made fun of because of the ugly scars that he has on his face? He fought for our country. What about the boy you laughed at because he was always crying? His mother is dying.

You think you know people? Chances are very good that you don’t. Be careful of your words and the judgments that you make towards others.  Your tongue is one of the most powerful weapons in the world…it can tear down someone and slice them to ribbons or it build them up and encourage them with one simple, kind word.

The choice is yours.

 

Words of Wisdom to Make Your Day

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

Photo Credit: Jessicahtam via CC Flickr

Photo Credit: Jessicahtam via CC Flickr

No matter how hard we try to perfect our daily lives, there are still times when we all need words that will uplift our spirits and give us the encouragement that we desire. I always find it fascinating how when I am having a difficult or challenging day how a simple little word or gesture can brighten it. I decided to collect a list of quotes and sayings that have inspired and uplifted me and share them with you. I hope that they will touch your heart and make your day a little brighter as they have for me.

—————-

Never, ever give up! There is no such thing as an ending…just a new beginning.

—————-

ALWAYS be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate copy of someone else. ~ Judy Garland

—————-

Keep your head up! God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.

—————-

Don’t allow the negative circumstances of your life take away the joy of what you like to do.

—————-

Train your mind to see the good in every situation.

—————-

If you are DEPRESSED, you are living in the PAST…If you are ANXIOUS, you are living in the FUTURE…If you are at PEACE, you are living in the PRESENT ~ Lao Tzu

—————-

Always pray…

For the EYES to SEE the best

A HEART that FORGIVES the worst

A MIND that FORGETS the bad

And a SOUL that never loses Faith

—————-

A bird sitting on a branch is never afraid of the branch breaking because its trust is not in the branch but on her own wings. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

—————-

Nobody can take away your pain…so don’t let anyone take away your happiness!

—————-

Starting today, you need to…Forget what’s gone…Appreciate what still remains…Look forward to what is coming next!

—————-

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones…you’ll start to have positive results. ~ Willie Nelson

—————-

There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough.

—————-

SOMETIMES…the people in your life who are miles away can make you feel better than the people in your life who are right beside you…because they understand.

—————-

Keep your heart free from hate…Your mind free from worry…And remember…Give much and expect little from others.

—————-

MISERABLE PEOPLE will focus on what they hate about their lives. HAPPY PEOPLE will focus on what they love about their lives.

—————-

Remember to always SMILE…it increases your face value!

The Value of Life

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Photo Credit: Tax Credits via CC Flickr

Photo Credit: Tax Credits via CC Flickr

All of us have a sense of value about our lives. We like to think that it has a lot of worth and significance for ourselves and towards others. But sometimes, because of difficult and challenging circumstances, we begin to doubt the usefulness of the life that we have been given. Well, today I would like to share the following short story that I found on Indianchild.com, that will help remind you that your life ALWAYS has value…no matter what life throws at you.

————–

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?”

Hands started going up.

He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this.” He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up.

He then asked, “Who still wants it?”

Still the hands were up in the air.

“Well,” he replied, “What if I do this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. “Now who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air.

“My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special – Don’t ever forget it!

Historical Stories Behind Popular Phrases – Second Edition

Tags

, , ,

Photo Credit: Rich Grundy via CC Flickr

Photo Credit: Rich Grundy via CC Flickr

As I promised in an earlier publication, here are some more stories behind common phrases….

“Good Night. Sleep Tight”

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase…’Goodnight , sleep tight’ 

“Honeymoon”

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his new son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

“Wet Your Whistle”

Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramiccups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.

“Kicking the Bucket”*

One of the more bizarre metaphors in the English language likens death to a bucket understandably confuses even the most eloquent and learned speakers. Probably the most likely explanation refers to a now-obsolete method of slaughtering animals for food. A “bucket” consisted of a wooden frame, from which the pigs or sheep or other livestock were hung, and the “kicking” element comes in when the expected neurological struggles ensue after death.

“Back to Square One”*

Several different possible histories of this curious idiom exist, though only one from 1952 seems the most likely. Snakes and Ladders, known as Chutes and Ladders in the United States, may not have sent unlucky players straight to the first square. But this did not stop an Economic Journalarticle from wielding it as a metaphor for having to start over from the very beginning.

“Heard Through the Grapevine”*

The wires utilized in America’s first telegraph stations oftentimes swooped and draped in twisted, random patterns. Professionals and onlookers alike believed the tangled masses resembled grapevines somewhat, eventually birthing a common idiom still used today.

“Riding Shotgun”*

Back when stagecoaches existed as the pinnacle of transport, the seat immediately next to the driver was reserved for individuals holding (of course) a shotgun. Such a strategic spot allowed the protectors to better ward off any bandits attempting to loot passengers. As engineering marched on into motor vehicles, the vernacular designation for the coveted spot stayed the same.

“Bottoms Up”**

You’ve probably kicked off a round or two with this salute, but do you know the story behind it? According to Jack, it actually has nothing to do with raising the bottom of a glass as you drain your beverage. He writes that during the 18th and 19th centuries, English Navy recruiters tried to persuade London pub-goers to join the armed forces by getting them to accept payment in the form of a King’s shilling. Dishonest recruiters would drop a shilling into the pint of a drunken man who wouldn’t notice until he finished his beverage. They would then consider this proof of his agreement to join the Navy and drag him out to sea the very next day. Once drinkers and pubs figured out the scam, they introduced glasses with transparent bases “and customers would be reminded to lift the pint up and check the bottom for illicit shillings before they began drinking.

“More Than You Could Shake A Stick At”**

Farmers with more sheep than they could control with their wooden staffs are believed to have inspired this phrase, which means you have more of something than you need. But according to Jack, there’s a second possible origin. “After George Washington was once seen waving a generals began to use the expression to justify themselves when they had not been quite as successful as the great man himself was in battle. ‘We had more men to fight than you could wave a stick at’ was apparently a common excuse for failure on the battlefield.”

“Cat Got Your Tongue?”**

There are two possible sources of this phrase, which refers to when a normally chatty person is at a loss for words, often for suspicious reasons. The first refers to when victims of the cat-o’-nine-tails––a whip the English Navy used for flogging––were left speechless from the pain inflicted upon them. The second, which is equally morbid, traces back to medieval times, when punishment “for liars and blasphemers [was to] have their tongues cut out and then fed to the cats.” Ancient Egyptian cats were considered to be gods (and would eat just about anything), so giving them the tongue of a liar was “seen as a human offering to the gods.”

“Turn A Blind Eye”**

The 1801 Battle of Copenhagen is at the root of this saying, which means to pretend you don’t know what’s happening, Jack explains. During the battle, Admiral Sir Hyde Parker, commander of the British fleet, attempted to stop Horatio Nelson from launching an attack on the enemy. “When Nelson’s officers pointed out the order, he famously raised a telescope to his blind eye and replied: ‘Order, what order? I see no ships.'”

———————–

Sources:

*denotes – bachelorsdegree.org

**denotes – womansday.com

How to Cook A Fabulous Thanksgiving Turkey!

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Photo credit: Ruocaled via CC Flickr

Photo credit: Ruocaled via CC Flickr

Step 1: Buy a turkey

Step 2: Have a glass of wine

Step 3: Stuff Turkey

Step 4: Have a glass of wine

Step 5: Put turkey in the oven

Step 6: Relax and have a glass of wine

Step 7: Turk the bastey

Step 8: A glass of wine another get

Step 9: Hunt for meat thermometer

Step 10: Glass yourself another pour of wine

Step 11: Bake the wine for 4 hours

Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 13: Tet the sable

Step 14: Grab another wottle of bine

Step 15: Turk the carvey

Have a smile…a chuckle…and an awesome day!

Pictures That Speak Volumes #50

Tags

, , , , ,

Photo Credit: Natasha Sadovskaya

Photo Credit: Natasha Sadovskaya

Sometimes a simple picture can give you the “willies” and make you palms sweat!

The Power of 86,400

Tags

, , , , ,

Photo Credit: Alex Rubin via CC Flickr

Photo Credit: Alex Rubin via CC Flickr

Every once in a while I come across an article that makes me stop and think. In this case, I read an article on dobhran.com which made me ponder…exactly what do I do with the time that is given to me each day? After reading the following essay, I trust that it will allow you to step back and contemplate what you are doing with your gift of time.

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every morning credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day.

If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the “tomorrow”. You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR,
ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH,
ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK,
ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR,
ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE,
ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND,
ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND,
ask the person who won a medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

Treasure your friends.
Treasure your family.
Treasure God.
Treasure all the love in your life every minute of every day.
This life will be over before you know it!

Like Two Peas in A Pod….

Tags

, , , , , ,

There is nothing better in the whole world as a nice friend to snuggle with!

Finding Strength in Difficult Times

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

There are times throughout our lives when things or circumstances can get so difficult…that our dreams or goals seems totally unreachable. But, the difference between an extraordinary person and an ordinary person…is that little EXTRA! 

There are also times that we need that one special person to help us “pull through” the tough situation that we may experiencing and encourage us to “fight on” and overcome our diversity.

It is my hope, that this incredible video will touch your heart, soul, and mind and encourage you to stay strong when you feel your weakest.

Overcoming Your Fears

Tags

, , , , , ,

Photo Credit: Vic via CC Flickr

Photo Credit: Vic via CC Flickr

First of all, I want to say that not all fears are bad. The feeling of fear and fright can actually be good and are “built-in” mechanisms in our bodies. For example, if you were walking and suddenly saw a big, ole bear coming your way, you would experience a level of alarm and handle it accordingly. That would be a normal reaction. Animals, such as lions, use fear, to their advantage. Sometimes they can scare their prey so much, that they can “freeze” in terror.

The most important key to handling and facing fear is how you decide to deal with it and how much to choose to let it control your mind.

 There are many times throughout our lives that we can become fearful of something. It has once been said that 70% of things that people worry or are fearful of never happen. In other words, the fear that they have of the thing that might occur either 1) never happen or 2) won’t be as bad as they think.

There are a couple of stories that I would like to share with you today which demonstrates some examples of how fear affected the lives of these people….

————

A man who hid for 32 years fearing punishment of pro-Nazi wartime activity says he used to cry when he heard happy voices outside, but dared not show himself even at his mother’s funeral. Janez Rus was a young shoemaker when he went into hiding at his sister’s farmhouse in June, 1945. He was found years later after she bought a large supply of bread in the nearby village of Zalna. “If I had not been discovered, I would have remained in hiding. So I am happy that this happened,” Rus told a reporter. Throughout those years he did nothing. He never left the house, and could only look down at the village in the valley.

Today in the Word, October 17, 1993.

————-

Black Bart was a professional thief whose very name struck fear as he terrorized the Wells Fargo stage line. From San Francisco to New York, his name became synonymous with the danger of the frontier. Between 1875 and 1883 he robbed 29 different stagecoach crews. Amazingly, Bart did it all without firing a shot. Because a hood hid his face, no victim ever saw his face. He never took a hostage and was never trailed by a sheriff. Instead, Black Bart used fear to paralyze his victims. His sinister presence was enough to overwhelm the toughest stagecoach guard.

Today in the Word, August 8, 1992.

————-

Louis Pasteur is reported to have had such an irrational fear of dirt and infection he refused to shake hands. President and Mrs. Benjamin Harrison were so intimidated by the newfangled electricity installed in the White House they didn’t dare touch the switches. If there were no servants around to turn off the lights when the Harrisons went to bed, they slept with them on.

Jane Goodsell, Not a Good Word About Anybody, Ballantine.

————-

As you can see by these powerful short stories, many people…even famous and well-known individuals lie in fear…mostly in fear of the unknown or things that they don’t know the truth about or understand.

I could very easily talk or write about how to face fears, what causes it, etc. but the reason for this short article is to ENCOURAGE you to face your fears and change your thinking when fear begins to enter your life.

Here are a few great quotes that I hope will help soothe your soul and mind the next time you come face to face with a fear. It might be a good idea to memorize some of them…

————

“Saw a little girl touch a big bug and shout, “I conquered my fear! YES!” and calmly walk away. I was inspired.”  ~ Nathan Fillian

“I have to face the fear. I have to take control of the situation and find a way to make it less frightening.”  ~ Veronica Roth, Divergent

“If you are in a prison of fear … break out!”  ~ Stephen Richards

“If we let fear control our decision making we always make the wrong decision.”  ~ Butch Bellah, The 10 Essential Habits of Sales Superstars: Plugging into the Power of Ten

“All great men had to endure hard times and overcome challenging circumstances.”  ~ Lailah Gifty Akita

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” ~ Rosa Parks

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” ~ Dorothy Thompson

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” ~ Salvador Dali
“Our heavenly Father understands our disappointment, suffering, pain, fear, and doubt. He is always there to encourage our hearts and help us understand that He’s sufficient for all of our needs. When I accepted this as an absolute truth in my life, I found that my worrying stopped.”  ~ Charles Stanley

“Fear can be good when you’re walking past an alley at night or when you need to check the locks on your doors before you go to bed, but it’s not good when you have a goal and you’re fearful of obstacles. We often get trapped by our fears, but anyone who has had success has failed before.” ~ Queen Latifah

Start to take a courageous step TODAY to begin your journey to defeating the fears that hold you down…and live the life that you were made to enjoy!

————-

Sources:

Brainyquotes.com

Goodreads.com

Sermonillustrations.com

The ABC’s of Friendship

Tags

, , , ,

Photo Credit: Cleo Morgause

Photo Credit: Cleo Morgause

Here is a nice little list that I recently found that demonstrates the important points of a good friend in a fun way.

(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in “you”
(C)alls you just to say “HI”
(D)oesn’t give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust “be” with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don’t understand
(Y)ells when you won’t listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

There is nothing on this earth to be prized more than friendship.                         ~ St. Thomas Aquinas

One Of The Most Precious Things….

Tags

, , , , , ,

How often do we take the simplest things in life for granted? This short video shows the joy and beauty of hearing.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,822 other followers